A January Rose
by Raita Amaya
Summary: Shuichi's whole life was destroyed a year ago when Yuki Eiri threw him out of his life. His best friend has abandoned him. Everyone tells him to move on. When his new best friend invites him to a weeklong party, will things finally be healed?
1. Prolouge

**A January Rose**

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

* * *

He silently cursed himself for only wearing the jacket and scarf. The cold and unrelenting wind tore through his defenses and left him shivering as he walked along the deserted street. The sky was a dreary gray and the clouds were suffocating the landscape. Fresh snow covered the ground, and the cars that droned down the street quickly turned its beauty to brown slush. A few flakes fell from the sky and accented his medium brown hair. He glanced towards the sky, to watch the snowflakes swirl down. He may have looked happy, but inside he was dying. It had snowed a year ago. When his life crashed around him. When everything stopped making sense.

One year ago he had been happy. He had lived with the man that he had expected to spend his life with. His hair had been much brighter, just as he had been. One year ago his eyes had been alive. Now they held no light, and no one saw their violet beauty. One year ago his lover Yuki Eiri had thrown him out of his life for good. No questions asked or answered. And now he was in a constant state of heartbreak. Nothing could have prepared him for what had happened. January was now the hardest for him. It always would be.

He continued down the street and stepped into shadow when a large cluster of teenagers came down his path. He didn't want to be recognized. He quickly pulled out a pair of large sunglasses and stepped back onto the sidewalk. He continued his aimless walking. He never had anywhere to be anymore.

Work didn't matter. Hiro only ever looked concerned for his happiness, Suguru was always muttering horrible things under his breath, Sakano always worried too much, and K never let up with the pressing schedule. Everyday was only a façade anyway. The others thought he was happy again. They thought that everything was fine. Out of them all, Hiro was the only one that saw the light leaving his eyes day after day after day. Hiro was the only one that saw him dying on the inside. But Hiro couldn't help him anymore.

The two had grown apart after having countless arguments. Hiro had wanted him to move on, try new things, get on with his life. He had wanted to stay the same. He never wanted to forget what he had had. Ever. But he couldn't stay alone forever and had found an unlikely friend in someone that he would have avoided if possible. He involuntarily smiled at the memory of his chance meeting with Tatsuha, his new best friend. Tatsuha understood better than most his pain, and why he wanted to stay sad. Hiro had stopped trying to understand him; Tatsuha already did.

Sometimes seeing Tatsuha brought back painful recollections. His eyes were the same shape, but Tatsuha's were melted chocolate. Yuki's had been molten gold, or pools of sunshine dancing in a lake, or--. He could have gone on about him for an eternity. That had been one reason Hiro had gotten tired of him…Hiro had always hated Yuki. Hated him for how he treated his best friend, hated him for how he was. And he still hated him for how he had affected the one he had loved the most.

His cell-phone's chirping ring startled him out of his thoughts. The caller ID showed Tatsuha's smiling face. He flipped open the phone. It would be good to hear his voice after all of this.

"Hello?" he asked in his normal, dead voice.

"Hey, hey Shuichi! What's up?" Tatsuha's voice rang out loud and clear.

"Nothing's up…just thinking…" replied Shuichi with a sigh.

"That's never good…I know you. Well, what are you doing right this second?"

"I'm walking on a street in a certain neighborhood." Replied Shuichi. He didn't necessarily want Tatsuha to know where he was.

"You know you shouldn't be there. What if my big bro decides to go for a stroll, eh?" said Tatsuha with an edge of anger.

"I know, I know…I'm sorry…" said Shuichi. He was never sorry. But sometimes he needed to be there. He needed to feel close.

"Whatever. Listen…I have this thing going on and you need to be there. No buts about it." Said Tatsuha, switching back into friend mode.

"I'm busy, you know that. I have too much going on at work. K's gotten crazy."

"You're lying. And you know why I think that? Because K, Suguru, Hiroshi, and Tohma are attending my little shindig. And you are too if I have to drag you over here myself. Oh, and Ryuichi will be here as well and I know you don't want to miss that." Said Tatsuha fluidly. He knew that Shuichi needed this.

"I don't want to Tatsuha…"

"Yes you do. You need this Shu-chan. Especially now." Tatsuha said quietly.

Shuichi only replied with a sigh. He knew that Tatsuha was right. He did need this. It had been a year today. But no one seemed to want to care. He still cared. And he still hurt. Tears clouded his deep eyes and he bit his lip to keep from making a sound. Tatsuha didn't need to know that he was crying. It would only make him worry more.

"Listen, Shu-chan, I got to get going. But this thing is going to last a week so you're going to need to pack accordingly. Get here tonight. ASAP buddy. I'm serious. If you're not here by nine I'm coming with rope to drag you here. Alright, I'm out." A click announced his departure.

Shuichi glanced at his watch. It was 6:30. Yuki had ended everything exactly a year ago. Shuichi's memory was as clear as a summer day. He remembered everything, and it all still haunted him.

_"Shuichi. I need to talk to you…now…" came Yuki's voice from the inner sanctum of his study. _

_"I'm coming Yuki!" he called happily. _

_"Listen…this can't work anymore…" Said Yuki distractedly, never once looking Shuichi in the eyes._

_"Wha, what? Yuki I don't understand…" he had replied._

_"It's not working, Shuichi. I can't take this anymore…" Yuki said as he sat down and stared out the window. Always avoiding Shuichi's face._

_After that point Shuichi had blanked out. He had watched his lover's face vividly, but he hadn't heard the words. He hadn't wanted to hear the words. He had never wanted everything to end. Not after three years together. At that moment nothing had mattered. His Yuki was gone. _

A sudden pain in his head snapped Shuichi out of his sad daze. The wall of an apartment building had brutally assaulted his face. Rolling his eyes at his own stupidity, Shuichi stepped away from the wall and continued on his way. As he walked past the entrance to the building, he noticed the paging buttons and the names next to them. Yuki Eiri was listed as apartment 7A.

'He still lives there then…' Shuichi thought to himself.

He finally reached his own apartment around seven o'clock. He needed to pack anyway, and couldn't afford to waste anymore time dwelling on his sad past. Instead he flopped and the couch and stared at his blank ceiling. He was twenty-two now. He had tried to move on in the past, but had never been able to. His heart and soul still hurt too much to forget about. Yuki had cut him to deep to ignore. He would be forever damaged goods, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Sometimes he had sudden spurts of optimism, but they never lasted very long. Sometimes he would try to move on, let Hiro set him up with someone. But that someone was never Yuki. Never would be. And he was tired of trying. He had accepted the fact that he wasn't going to just get over this. Even though everyone tried to make him, tried to tell him to move on, tried to tell him he was wrong to do this to himself. But he wasn't. He still loved Yuki. More than anything. And he didn't want to let that die. He wanted to love him still. He couldn't begin to comprehend what it would take for him to let that go. He didn't think he'd be able to, even if he tried, or wanted to. Nothing and no one could heal his heart.

7:15. Shuichi was sure that Tatsuha's threat would hold true. It took an hour to get to his large, country house where he held the longer parties. Plenty of rooms, plenty of fun. But for him it meant that he would have another week of lying, of pretending to smile, of pretending to be OK. Because he was never OK. And he didn't think he ever would be.

7:30. He knew he should get going. His house wasn't always organized. He might not even have enough clean clothes to take with him. Pulling himself off of the couch with a resigned sigh, he moved towards his small room. The sight of his single bed caused more tears to rush to his eyes. That had been one of his favorite parts; sharing a bed with Yuki. Having someone beside him all through the night. He'd never have that again. He didn't want it again. Not if it wasn't Yuki. Sadness came over him again, and wrapped its cold hands around his heart.

But maybe the party would snap him out of it. But it probably wouldn't. Having everyone there only seemed to make things worse. They never tried to understand anymore. Tatsuha always had these parties spur of the moment. He would randomly call someone and suddenly you had a weeklong fiasco on your hands. People fought, people got together, wars started, wars ended, challenges were held, and everyone always had a good time. Except for him.

He slowly pulled out his cigarettes and lit one. Every time that he smoked, he felt closer to Yuki. He chuckled to himself, thinking of what a hypocrite he had become. He had always told Yuki to stop smoking, that it would kill him. And Yuki had always refused him. Here he was, smoking. He could only imagine the look on Yuki's face if he knew. But then he snapped back into reality and realized that even if Yuki did somehow know, he wouldn't care. He didn't care anymore. He had ended it after all.

7:45. Shuichi grabbed whatever clothes he could find and threw them into a duffel bag. He wasn't going to bother finding his suitcase. He'd only lose it while he was there anyway. He put out the cigarette and pulled on some gloves. The sky had gotten much darker and the snow had thickened considerably. He found his car keys and stepped out the door, making sure that it was locked behind him. On the elevator ride down to the garage, he let his mind wander back to a year ago.

_"I'm leaving now…I don't know if or when I'll be back… I don't want you here when I come back. Do you understand?" Yuki had asked him. He still wouldn't look at his face._

_"How can I understand? Eiri, why-"_

_"Stop. Just stop. I can't tell you why…" Yuki had returned. There was an obvious shake to his voice. "I need you gone. Now."_

_"But-"_

_"NO! Listen to me: This isn't working. It never did. It was all a lie and you know it. I'm leaving and I don't want you here when I get back."_

_"It wasn't a lie…" He had answered as he slid to the floor. _

_"I'm sorry Shuichi. This is the end." Yuki had said without a backwards glance as he walked out of Shuichi's life forever._

The elevator dinged and Shuichi stepped out into the garage. He headed for his black Lotus and climbed behind the wheel. He had gotten the car to cheer himself up at Tatsuha and Hiro's urging. But it hadn't worked. He had known that it wouldn't, but he needed a way to get around.

8:00. He turned the engine over and rolled out of the lot. He made quick time through town and headed for the highway. The snow continued to fall and his mind continued to wander.

_"Yuki…" he had said to the empty office._

_He waited for Yuki for what seemed like an eternity…but he never came back. He had packed all of his belongings together, put his key on Yuki's desk, and had opened the door. But he couldn't leave. Leaving meant accepting that Yuki wasn't his anymore. That Yuki didn't love him. That everything had been a lie. He had stood there for an hour before he finally took a step out the door. He called a mover to get his stuff. That had been the longest walk of his life. Through the snow, the wind, his tears. He had had nowhere to go._

Brake lights shining in front of him made him slam on his own. Blinking back his tears, he noticed the car in front of him. A black Mercedes. His heart turned over at the sight of it. What if-. He made himself stop. What ifs wouldn't help anything. And besides he needed to concentrate on his driving. His insurance couldn't take another wreck.

He reached Tatsuha's house in record time. From the assembly of cars he could see that everyone was already there. Ryuichi's Mustang GT was in the driveway, and Mika's sports car was next to Tohma's Saab. Hiro's bike was near the garage and Suguru's little car was at the curb. K had driven his favorite 4X4. Everyone was convinced that it was the one with the rocket launcher. Sakano had taken a cab. Highway driving stressed him. Shuichi clicked the lock on his car and shifted the duffel bag to his other shoulder. He glanced down the long road behind him, and was surprised to see headlight. Tatsuha's nearest neighbor was seven miles away.

"Hey Shuichi! You made it. I was just heading out to get you." Said Tatsuha happily as he ran over to meet Shucihi. "But on a serious note, I'm glad you're here."

"I suppose I am too…" Shuichi replied quietly.

"I just couldn't bear the thought of you all alone this time of year. It's so drafty." Said Tatsuha, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Yeah…that's it…drafty…"

"What's wrong now?" asked Tatsuha, throwing an arm around Shuichi's slender shoulders.

"Isn't everyone already here? I saw headlights…"

"Oh…that's nothing…heh…don't worry. Some buffoon probably just got lost, that's all." Replied Tatsuha with concealed worry.

"Ok…let's get inside. It's freezing." Said Shuichi as he teeth began to chatter.

Entering the large house, he had a good feeling. Maybe this week would fix everything. Maybe he could finally be better. But probably not. He drifted back into pessimism. It would never get better.

* * *


	2. Brotherly Love

The headlights belonged to an imported car of utmost quality and design; a Mercedes. The driver knew right where he was going, even though he had no inclination of wanting to be there. His idiotic younger brother had ended up blackmailing him into making an appearance. In the mind of Yuki Eiri, he would only be staying for one day. That was it. One day. Wild horses couldn't make him stay any longer. He had a deadline. And a lot on his mind.

His life had undergone a complete overhaul one year ago. He remembered, and sometimes regretted. His large apartment always seemed empty, bland, and lifeless. No matter what he changed, something was always missing. The soulless side of him never looked back and viewed his new life as perfect for him. The side of him that Shuichi had unmasked was in a constant state of turmoil and disquiet. He regretted ever making Shuichi leave his life.

He had reached the destination: Tatsuha's house. He hated these parties, but Tatsuha had forced him to come earlier in the day. Their sister Mika would be there. Angry and newly pregnant, she was altogether a force to be reckoned with even more than usual. Tatsuha knew some things that no younger brother should know and had clearly threatened to unveil his knowledge unless Yuki had promised to show up. So of course he had had no choice whatsoever. At the sight of the house and all of the cars, he couldn't help but think back to the conversation that had forced him to show up to this dreadful get together contrived by his imp of a brother.

_"Hey Aniki! Long time no see…" Tatsuha's voice had called over the connection._

_"What now?" Yuki had replied without bothering to hide his obvious frustration._

_"How've you been? I haven't talked to you in awhile…" Tatsuha had replied._

_"I don't care for small talk. What do you want from me?"_

_"I just wanted to check up on you. Mika asked me to…"_

_"Hmph."_

_"Aniki, we worry about you…especially now…"_

_"Why now, huh? Why the hell does everyone see fit to suddenly invade MY life just because they think I can't take care of myself?!" he had shouted into the phone seconds before throwing the receiver across the room. "I don't need him."_

_Seconds later his cell phone had chirped to life and informed him that his brother was calling. He had answered it with a sigh, regretting every second that he had to talk to his dreaded family._

_"You shouldn't throw phones, Aniki. Money doesn't grow on trees, you know." Came Tatsuha's sarcastic greeting._

_"Get on with it." He'd replied._

_"Well, like I was saying…Mika wanted me to check up you."_

_"I'm. Fine." Was his stiff reply._

_"I don't think you are. It's been a year, Eiri…" Tatsuha's voice had seemed far away. Distant even._

_"I don't know what you're talking about. Stop wasting my time." With that he had closed his cell phone and then quickly pressed the power button so that his brother couldn't call him back._

_"Finally…some peace and quiet." He had said aloud to his office. But then an interesting thought struck him. How had his brother know about him throwing the phone? Three seconds later his question had been answered._

_DING, DING, DING._

_"Shit."_

_"Aniki! I know you're in there! Open up or I'll start yelling about your sex life as loud as I possibly can!"_

_"I'M COMING DAMMIT!" He had screamed back at his worthless brother before answering the door. And sure enough, there was his brother smiling like the idiot that he was._

_"Hi." Tatsuha said, throwing in a little finger wave. Before Yuki could slam the door in his face, he put his boot in the door and sauntered in. _

_"What the hell do you think you're doing?"_

_"I'm checking up on you of course. Your life needs color anyway."_

_"Color? Get the hell out Tatsuha."_

_"Yes. Color. You're coming to a party with me. Tonight." Tatsuha had said matter-of-factly. "No questions asked, got it?"_

_"No. I'm busy. I have better things to do with my time, and unlike you I have a job." Came his angry reply. People were not tolerated in his apartment._

_"Then I'll tell Mika you have someone new. I'll slander your name all over that temple. I'll lie like the dog that I am aniki. You'd better not tempt me…" Tatsuha had said while staying miraculously out of reach of his brother._

_"How do you come up with these things?!" _

_"Well, there should have been someone new by now…it's been a year."_

_"It doesn't matter…" he'd said, running a finger through his messy golden hair._

_"Alright then. You're coming. Pack enough clothes for a week, got it?" And with that Tatsuha had walked out of the door. "Don't be late, aniki."_

_He had watched his door close with his mouth hanging open in dumbstruck anger. His spitfire soul was absolutely enraged that his twerp of a little brother had such power over him. He knew he'd have to show up, or Tatsuha would start blabbing and wouldn't stop until Mika had left the house on a death hunt. He sighed and moved to start packing. Pregnant women were hell on wheels to deal with._

Now that he was here, he really didn't want to go inside. But he knew what would happen if he didn't. Mika would suddenly find herself informed of all the lies in Tatsuha's head. Because that was all there was anymore. Sure, a few one night stands now and then. But he had refused to let anyone stay in his life for more than a week. The part of him that had a heart left to care, cared. Deeply. He didn't want anyone to take Shuichi's place. Ever. Nor did he want him back. He didn't want to go back to that life.

Shuichi had started as a fling and evolved into something much more serious much more quickly than anyone had seen coming. Within a year, the boy had cemented himself into Yuki's life, heart, and mind. He was everywhere, and everything. And for once in his life, Yuki Eiri had been happier than ever before.

But then things changed as suddenly as they had begun. His split personalities had fired back up two and half years into their relationship, and his doctor had prescribed stronger medication. His ulcer came back, and he spent half of his time in the hospital for a good three months. He saw the pain he was causing Shuichi. The boy had always believed that everything was his fault, even though Yuki told him constantly that that was anything but the truth. Shuichi was the only thing that kept him alive, and no one but Yuki would ever know that.

Even after he got better and stopped partially living at the hospital, Yuki had still seen the wear and tear in Shuichi's face. Yuki hadn't wanted to hurt him anymore and had withdrawn back into his shell. He started pushing Shuichi away to save him, and had never bothered to tell the boy this. Shuichi slipped away and became distant in his own way. Sometimes he would try to get Yuki to come back to life. But he always failed.

In the end of things, Yuki had decided to make it all stop. He couldn't bear to hurt Shuichi anymore than he already had, but he couldn't stand the thought of opening up again. His mental deficiencies had made sure that that wouldn't ever happen again.

When everything ended, he couldn't bring himself to tell Shuichi why. To this day he regretted that. The poor thing probably thought that he hated him, didn't love him, or didn't care. None of it was true. Even though he denied ever thinking about Shuichi anymore, he did. He used to think about him all of the time. He tried not to because it only ever caused him pain, and in the last six months he had come far. The boy hardly ever crossed his mind. Nowadays, Yuki didn't know what he would've done if he had seen Shuichi in the streets. Six months ago, he would've apologized for all to hear and begged him to come back. But he had given up on that thought for his own good. His physiatrist had urged him to repeatedly. Dwelling on the past wasn't going to change the future.

After he had ended things with Shuichi, Yuki had just started walking. He didn't know where he was going, or where he wanted to go. He couldn't stand to be there and to see Shuichi's beautiful face in pain. It would have killed him more than it already had. His brother's voice brought his thoughts screeching back to the present.

"Are you just going to sit out there forever?" Tatsuha asked loudly as he ran up to the idling car containing his brother.

"Maybe I will. What do you care?" Yuki replied testily. "I'll come in when I'm good and ready. You're lucky that I'm even here."

"Well you're lucky that I don't squeal your non-existent secrets to Mika." Tatsuha returned with zest. "Don't make me."

"You lying sonuva-"

"Uh, uh. Behave. I will tell her…"

"Bite me."

"Oh Mika…"

"Alright, alright…I'm getting out of the car." Sighed Yuki. He was going to regret this. He could feel it.

"What do you want? She's sleeping." Said a silky voice belonging to a man with a black hat and platinum blonde hair. "Oh, Eiri-san! I didn't know you'd be here."

"Neither did I." drawled Yuki back as he angled himself out of the car and pulled out a bag from his trunk. He never left his laptop behind. Inspiration hit at odd intervals.

"Eiri-san, if you don't mind me asking, why are you here?" Tohma posed inquisitively as he scooted over to where Yuki was standing beside his car.

"Because my worthless brother is a blackmailing, lying piece of trash." Yuki said while he moved towards the house. There was a slight chill to the air. "Let's just get inside. I'm tired of standing out here." Truth be told, he only wanted to get the time he had to spend there over with. He had a deadline to meet.

* * *

This is a shorter chapter, but I wanted to get the beginning stuff out of the way quickly. I don't really have a good idea of where this story is attempting to go, but I'm trying to enjoy the ride nonetheless. Thanks for any support.

-Amaya


	3. Face to Face

Shuichi loved coming to Tatsuha's house. It was one place that could cheer him up. It always seemed like nothing mattered here…that everything disappeared if only for a while. The house had become a safe haven for him over the past year. It had completely replaced Hiro's apartment.

Stepping into the house, he had a bad feeling. Tatsuha hadn't followed him inside and for a moment he felt insecure. He didn't know where to go, what to do, anything. And he couldn't shake a feeling. He couldn't help but feel tricked for some reason. Something was up, and he knew it.

After Shuichi made sure that Tatsuha wasn't coming in right at that moment, he made his way to his usual room. It was down the first hall and had a large double bed that suited him perfectly. Lovely feather pillows and mattress. He sighed in content at the memory of it. Second most comfortable bed in the world. He didn't want to think about the first. Not now.

He reached the room and was surprised that he hadn't seen anyone on his way there. But then, most had spent their day working. He had played the sick card and had spent the majority of his day wallowing in self-pity and hate. It had become his normal routine. But he found that he didn't want such things to be normal to him. It was at times like these that he forced himself to stop and think about the person that he had become. What had happened to him? He used to be happy, to be carefree. He used to be able to love, and to trust completely. He didn't, and couldn't, trust anyone now. He adored Tatsuha, but some things were left unsaid, some thoughts kept utterly private. And it was all of his own fault.

Yuki wouldn't have thrown him out on a whim. Not after all of the progress that they had made together. Something about Shuichi must have set him off, something must have made him doubt Shuichi's love. Something. He refused to want to believe that Yuki had thrown him out of his life on a lark, that he hadn't mattered enough to be thought through. And again he forced himself to stop.

He entered the room and flipped on the lights. A welcome sight greeted him; the bed neatly made, the curtains pulled back from the window, and a high-def television attached to a Playstation 3.

"Ahh, heaven." Shuichi sighed as he set his bag down on the bed. "So…tired…"

Within five minutes he had unpacked most of his things and had flopped on the comfy bed. He wanted to sleep so badly, but couldn't. Something was scratching at the back of his mind, refusing to relinquish him to the land of dreams. But that something could wait until the morning. When he wasn't half asleep. He quickly slid under the covers and pulled them up to his chin, childishly thinking that that would somehow make the problems go away. He was sound asleep within seconds.

* * *

Tatsuha was sweating like a pig despite the frosty atmosphere created not only by the wondrous weather, but also from his chilly brother. He had instantly regretted his decision to blackmail Eiri when he had seen Shuichi's face. Maybe it was still too soon.

Hiro had approached him earlier in the month and begged him to talk to Shuichi. Worry had been etched all over the guitarist's face, but he, Tatsuha, had made him realize that Shuichi didn't really listen to anyone anymore. Hiro's only response had been simple enough. He had said to find the one that Shuichi would listen to. And of course Tatsuha realized who that was right off, even if Shuichi might not agree with him. Tatsuha hadn't thought to think of how Shuichi would honestly react to seeing Yuki again. And now Tatsuha was standing on his doorstep with Shuichi inside and Yuki sending him the mother of all death glares from his sidewalk.

"Oh boy…" Tatsuha breathed to himself. This was not good. He suddenly saw little specks parading through his vision. He took a deep breath. "Calm, calm…"

"And what's wrong with you, you miserable excuse for family?" Yuki snarled from the sidewalk.

"Umm…nothing…" Tatsuha muttered distractedly. He blinked viciously and the specks disappeared. "Listen, aniki…you don't have to stay if you don't want to."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Yuki shouted from his spot. "You blackmailed me into dragging myself out here and now you tell me that I don't even have to be here?!"

"Of course you have to be here! Mika's excited to see you, Eiri-san." Tohma said from the stairs between the two brothers. "And you wouldn't want to disappoint Mika now would you?"

Yuki audibly gulped and then shuddered. He shouldered his laptop case and walked into the house with his head down. No one, not even the mighty Yuki Eiri, could contest Mika's iron will. And if they did, they might suddenly find themselves facing extinction. Yuki had no intention of dying that night, but he did have the intention of sleeping. Behind him, Tatsuha started scratching his head and attempting to quell the twitch that was ravaging his right eye. Something must have been bothering him, but Yuki was beyond caring at this point.

He stumbled through the house blindly, having been there only once or twice. He vaguely remembered being in a large bedroom towards the front of the house. All he remembered was that the bed was nice. His eyes glazed slightly at the thought of sleeping. He hadn't slept in three days and not because of a deadline. Every time that he attempted to sleep he started to think of Shuichi. And he remembered how that had been the biggest obstacle for him to overcome; sleeping on his own again. He still hadn't necessarily gotten used to it, and preferred to spend most of his nights on the couch or on the nearest patch of floor space. But in Tatsuha's house, things were different, and Yuki had never been able to figure out why.

He stumbled down the first hallway that he could find and opened a door that looked familiar. 'But then again,' he thought, 'all doors are the exact same.' On that thought, he reached out and opened the door. Darkness was the greeting. He casually dropped his laptop bag on the floor and shrugged out of his blue button down shirt. He stopped to remove his socks and then made a beeline for what he assumed was the bed.

Yuki reached the bed and adjusted the pillow to his liking. He pulled back the covers and flopped into the bed. He reached over the other side of the bed to pull all of them towards him and suddenly had a very big problem on his hands. The Goldilocks syndrome. Someone was sleeping in his bed.

* * *

Tatsuha lay on the couch as soon as he came into the house. For now, everything was fine. Peaceful, even. Shuichi had been asleep for some time, and Yuki's door had just shut with a soft click. Tatsuha fell asleep quickly, relieved that his plan wouldn't be unfolding for at least a few hours.

Tohma quietly crossed the living room and looked down at the sleeping Tatsuha. Even though he had only been asleep for a matter of minutes, his mouth was already hanging open.

"That's attractive…" Tohma muttered to the empty space of the large room before retiring down the long hallway. He reached his room without event.

The other houseguests were slumbering peacefully, blissfully unaware of the unraveling chain of events. K slept with his favorite Magnum tucked gently underneath his pillow and Ryuichi was in the master bedroom with Kumagoro. Hiro and Suguru were sharing a room downstairs and neither had been happy about it. The bickering had gone on for hours ending when Suguru had fallen asleep mid-rant. The house was now quiet.

* * *

Shuichi was sleeping soundly, even though he detected quiet noises in his vicinity. He dismissed it as Tatsuha's cat…but then he realized that Tatsuha didn't have a cat. He started to turn around to grab some covers, but they wouldn't budge. He turned around completely and found himself face to face with the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. Except he had seen them before.

He was face to face with Yuki Eiri. He was torn. Part of him wanted to wrap his arms around him and never let go again. And part of him wanted to scream bloody murder. The latter part won.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Shuichi screamed frantically as he scrambled out of the bed at warp speed.

Yuki's only reply was to look at Shuichi like he was from Mars. He had had no idea that someone else was in the room, let alone Shuichi. Yuki didn't even realize that Shuichi was friends with Tatsuha. And then it hit him.

"TATSUHA! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" Yuki shouted as he rolled himself out of the bed. Then he turned to face Shuichi. "Sorry."

"THAT'S IT?! Sorry? After a year, Eiri?!" Shuichi yelled back, flapping his arms. He had decided to be angry.

"Don't call me that! And I didn't know you were in here, because if I had known, I would never had come in!"

"You-" Shuichi stuttered. He hadn't expected that answer. He had expected that Yuki was trying to fix things. He didn't realize that everything had been an accident. "I…I…"

"Just shut up."

"I'm sorry, Yuki…"

"Hmph."

* * *

Tatsuha's blood ran cold at the sound of his name being shouted down the hallway. He lay on the couch for a few seconds, hoping against hope that he had been imagining things. And then it came again; his brother screaming for him to get in there. 'This must be important…' Tatsuha thought to himself. Eiri rarely got the compulsion to scream that loud.

Tatsuha pulled himself off of the couch as slowly as he possibly could. Death wasn't on the A-list of things to do that night. Hell, it wasn't even on a list. Yet he knew that it was coming for him. Eiri never yelled that loudly. He reluctantly stepped down the hallway and opened the bedroom door with a heavy sigh of regret. To die so young was damned depressing.

"Tatsuha." Yuki said as he turned to face his younger brother.

"You set me up you backstabbing, lying cheat!" Shuichi yelled from the other side of the room. A pillow came flying from his hands seconds later and proceeded to collide with Tatsuha's head.

"Hey, hey! No need to get violent…" Tatsuha murmured quietly as he stepped towards the door.

"Oh really now?" Yuki posed from his position in the corner. "Here we have two angry people and one scared little rabbit. And the rabbit cries peace?"

"I hate you, Tatsuha! You're supposed to be my friend but you fed me to the wolves!" Shuichi screamed at Tatsuha. He was red in the face.

"I didn't mean for it to happen like this!" Tatsuha returned to defend himself. But then he realized his mistake.

"You set me up?!" Yuki and Shuichi yelled at the same time.

"I…I…shit." Tatsuha said as he stepped forward and sat on the bed. His life was flashing before his eyes…Eiri would surely kill him for this. He put his head between his knees and started rocking back and forth.

"How could you do this to me?" Shuichi questioned him, the anger leaving him as quickly as it had come. Tears were running down his cheeks and he looked absolutely devastated. "After everything, Tatsuha…after everything…"

"I…" Tatsuha stammered, unsure of how to answer. He felt horrible. Not only had he hurt Shuichi beyond any obvious repair, his own life was over. Eiri's eye was twitching.

"I hate you." Shuichi stated before he walked out of the room and shuffled down the hallway, towards the living room.

"You've really outdone yourself this time." Yuki said.

"Just leave me alone…" Tatsuha snapped at his brother. He didn't want to be bothered. He'd just lost his best friend because of his own callous stupidity.

"Fine. I don't care why you did it, what you were thinking would happen, or anything like that. You're an idiot for thinking that it would work. It's over Tatsuha. If you can't accept that, he never will." Eiri said as he walked out of the room in search of an alternate place to sleep. He chose the couch.

When he reached the living room however, someone was splayed out on the piece of furniture that he had selected for himself.

"You are a real pain, you know that?" Yuki said to the lump on the couch.

"Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you…" Shuichi returned from his spot. He had his head propped up on the arm of the couch and was laying on his stomach.

"We need to talk." Yuki said as he came around to Shuichi's head and placed his hand on Shuichi's shoulder.

"No, we don't. There's nothing to say. You hate me, Tatsuha's a jerk, and I don't care."

"Fine by me. Seems you have everything under control…" Yuki returned with a glint in his eyes. He was only playing with his ex now.

"Wait…do you really hate me?" Shuichi posed to Yuki softly. It would kill him if Yuki said yes.

Yuki didn't answer right away. Instead, he looked at Shuichi's face for the first time in a long time. His deep eyes were filled with pain. The violet color that Yuki had adored a year ago was gone. Black despair had taken its place. The darker hair made his face stand out as pale even more than it had, and it held no happiness. Shuichi looked dead, defeated, destroyed. And it was all Yuki's fault. And yet Shuichi was still the most beautiful person Yuki had ever seen.

"I don't hate you. I never did." Yuki finally answered after some deep thought. He had analyzed how he really felt and what he had found shocked him.

"What?" Shuichi asked quietly, pulling himself into a sitting position. Yuki sat next to him and stared at him intensely. Shuichi felt a little unnerved at the unexpected attention.

"I don't hate you. What are you, deaf?" Yuki returned, retreating back into his cold personage.

"Jeez, you don't have to be such an ass about –" Shuichi said before he was cut off by Yuki pressing his lips to his. Shuichi's first instinct was to pull away, but he couldn't. As much as everyone had tried to get him to admit, he hadn't given up on Yuki. He still loved him just as much as he had when they had been together. Yuki broke the kiss and stared at him for a beat.

Before he had time to respond, Shuichi returned the kiss and moved closer to Yuki. Within seconds they were in each other's arms and not caring that they had been apart for a year. Footsteps in the hallway impeded their unwinding romance.

"Hey, guys…I'm really sorry…" Tatsuha said as he entered the living room.

"Oh, you have no idea how sorry you should be…" Yuki muttered from his side of the couch.

"We'll talk in the morning Tatsuha." Shuichi said to him. "I'm sorry about what I said…"

"O…Ok…" Tatsuha stammered. He had wanted a conversation, but Shuichi and Yuki were both leaving. Both walking down the hallway. "What the hell…" And then Tatsuha went back to sleep. His poor mind couldn't take any more abuse.

* * *

Shuichi had reached the room before Yuki and stopped in the doorway.

"What now?" Shuichi asked.

"Do you really have to ask me that question? I knew you were stupid, but come on…" Yuki answered with a small smirk.

"Hey!" Shuichi returned, but Yuki kissing him again and practically trampling him as he moved them both towards the bed squashed any further protest. "Oh…"

Yuki didn't bother with a response. He pushed Shuichi down onto the bed and kissed him again while he pulled Shuichi's shirt over his head.

* * *

Wow. Three chapters. And I actually have a little plan laid out. In other news, snarfy is now a favorite word of mine. Ciao and thanks for the support.


	4. Seams Unraveled

Sunshine streamed through the window in Shuichi's room. He looked over at his bedside clock and was surprised to see that it was only seven o'clock. He didn't normally wake up that early. He attempted to sit up, but was held down but the tangled mass of covers that were wrapped around his entire body. He had a transient moment of confusion and them remembered _why_ the covers were in such an awkward state.

_Yuki didn't bother with a response. He pushed Shuichi down onto the bed and kissed him again while he pulled Shuichi's shirt over his head._

Shuichi smiled to himself at the memory of what had happened next and rolled over expecting to find Yuki next to him, just like before. He was greeted by empty space. Neatly spruced pillow, twisted covers. No note, no explanation, and no Yuki. Shuichi was speechless. He was in shock. He had been had. Literally and figuratively.

Shuichi calmly rolled out of the bed, attempting to either quell oncoming tears or waves of anger. He put on a pair of pajama pants and grabbed his bathrobe. He quietly walked out of the room and ran a hand through his trashed hair. He shuffled down the deserted hallway and discovered Tatsuha to be sound asleep on the couch with his mouth hanging open. Everyone else appeared to be sleeping.

A sudden hope came about like a phoenix rising and smacked Shuichi in the face. 'What if he's in the kitchen, or in Tatsuha's office, or someplace like that?' Shuichi half ran, half slid into the kitchen, but was met with disappointment. No Yuki. He quite frantically searched the other rooms but came up with nothing. Yuki was gone.

His last effort was performed halfheartedly. He opened the front door, and the Mercedes was gone from its previous spot. Shuichi felt the hot stab of anger deep in his gut, but at the same time, he could feel the tears running down his face.

With all the self-control that he could muster, Shuichi quietly closed the door. The lock clicked into place, and he took a few steps back. And then he failed himself. He collapsed on the floor and started bawling his eyes out, looking very much the same as he had one year ago. Tatsuha nigh catapulted off of the couch and ran over to where Shuichi was curled up on the floor. The broken singer was in the fetal position, rocking back and forth.

"Shuichi…?" Tatsuha asked quietly, not wanting to startle Shuichi. "Shuichi. What's wrong?"



"He…left…" Shuichi managed to say between tears. "Just…left…"

"He does tend to do that, you know…"

"You don't understand!" Shuichi screamed, pulling himself up to his feet and steadily working himself into a jaded rage. "YOU DON'T GET IT!"

Tatsuha didn't say anything, but took a step forward and reached out for Shuichi's arm.

"Don't touch me!" Shuichi yelled back. "I don't want you near me! This is all YOUR fault!"

Tatsuha again stepped forward and attempted to pull Shuichi to him. He instinctively wanted to calm him down, before anything bad happened. But there was something distinctively different about Shuichi. His eyes weren't black this morning. Tatsuha could swear that he saw red in them.

"Damn creepy…" Tatsuha muttered, mesmerized by Shuichi's angry face.

"I hate you."

The statement shocked Tatsuha back into reality. Shuichi's face no longer held his attention.

"Didn't you hear me?! I hate you!"

"I…I…Shu?" Tatsuha stuttered, shocked.

"This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you…" Shuichi said slowly, calming down again. The sadness started to etch away the sharp lines of fury in his face.

"I…I…I'm sorry?" Tatsuha said quietly. He didn't know how to react.

"It's all your…fault…" Shuichi muttered quietly before he collapsed again on the floor and started wailing.

"Shuichi, damn it, tell me what's wrong!" Tatsuha said, finally finding his voice in the face of his friend's apparent distress.

Shuichi only stared at Tatsuha hopelessly for a response. He could feel himself losing control again. He had worked so hard in the past year to get his life together enough to function, and he felt that the loose rope that anchored him to reality was slipping through his fingers. He blankly looked around the entryway that they were sitting in and found Tatsuha's face in the teary haze that was his sight. Tatsuha's eyes were open wide and he had a death grip on Shuichi's arm. Without warning, his hand moved to Shuichi's shoulder.

Shuichi's sharp intake of breath made Tatsuha recoil almost immediately. His friend's face was drawn together in pain, and it caused another tear to leak out of his eye. Shuichi sighed audibly and started to weakly pull away from Tatsuha, all the while avoiding his gaze.

"So that's what this is about…" mused Tatsuha in a whisper that was more to himself than to Shuichi.

"Just leave it alone, Tatsuha…please…." Whispered Shuichi as he pulled away from his friend.

"Are you…you…are you insane?!" Tatsuha spurted after a few moments silence. He stood up and looked down at his shaking friend.

"Tatsuha…" Shuichi said quietly, pulling himself up into a standing position.

"AFTER EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH! ARE YOU…ARE YOU THAT STUPID?!" Tatsuha screamed at Shuichi. He couldn't believe that his friend would just throw away a year of suffering that fast.

"I'M NOT STUPID! I…I…it was a mistake…" said Shuichi, sinking back into defeat. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this…"

"So what, did you think that he would stay with you forever and ever and that everything would be PEACHY?!" yelled Tatsuha, his frustration reaching its boiling point.

"Why do you care so much, huh? If I'm that stupid then just leave me the hell alone!" said Shuichi with obvious anger, his mood swings becoming more violent.

"Because I care about you, dumbass! Do you think I'd have been your friend through this last year of bitching and moaning if I didn't care!?" said Tatsuha back, his voice becoming exasperated.

"Oh, bitching and moaning, huh? You think that's all it was? Screw you! You don't care! No one ever does!" screamed Shuichi back, causing Tatsuha to retreat a step. "You're just like him."

Tatsuha was shell-shocked. To be compared to his brother was all right usually, but coming from Shuichi it was the world's biggest insult. He opened his mouth to reply, but Shuichi just uttered a disgusted snarl and walked down the hallway. A few seconds later, he heard a door slam.

"What was all that about?" asked a tired voice, coming from the basement. "I think I made out Shuichi's…distinct tones."

"Morning Hiroshi…" said Tatsuha on a sigh. "And Suguru." Added Tatsuha, noticing the green haired youth come up the stairs with a scowl.

"So, where is he?" posed Hiroshi with a knowing look in his eyes. "I couldn't help but to overhear your little…talk."

"He's…uh…he went that way." Answered Tatsuha dumbly, pointing down the hallway. His mind was entering shut down mode. Shuichi had never yelled at him like that.

"Right." Replied Hiro as he made his way down the hallway.

"K! Coffee." Came Suguru's voice from the kitchen. He was wearing a bathrobe and his hair was on end. Fighting with his roommate apparently wasn't good for his health.

"Yeah, yeah. You're exactly 47 seconds late. Don't let it happen again or I'll have to shoot you." Said K as he ambled into the kitchen, his appearance completely normal with the slight exception of the fully automatic M-16 that he was pointing at Suguru's foot.

"Whatever." Replied Suguru sullenly, as he grabbed his coffee and headed for the stairs. "You shoot me, and we'll have to find a new keyboardist. And you know how Shuichi just _loves_ new people."

K's only response was to send a few bullets flying in Suguru's general direction.

"K! I just painted that wall! And Kuma helped!" came a loud voice from down the hallway. It was followed seconds later by a man with sparkling blue eyes, brown hair, and bunny pajamas. "Morning, Tat-chan."

"Huh? Yeah…g'mornin'…" muttered Tatsuha. He came out of loopy land just in time to give Ryuichi a good morning kiss and then he concentrated on the dilemma at hand.

"Tatsuha? Where's your brother?" called a silky voice. "Mika would like to chat with him."

"He's…he's…gone."

"No he's not. He can't be…I've spent the last eight hours dealing with her, and he had better not of abandoned me!" said Tohma, his eyes popping and his arms flapping.

"Umm…are you alright?" asked Tatsuha, taking a step backwards. Tohma's feathers were flying everywhere.

"You'd better be damn glad that he can't be pregnant." Said Tohma with a dangerous glint to his voice, pointing a finger at Ryuichi, who was playing with Kuma.

"Right." Replied Tatsuha, looking a little alarmed. Tohma had clearly lost it. But he had more important things to do. "I'll be back later…"

Tatsuha dodged Ryuichi and Kuma and made a beeline for his office. Thankfully Tohma didn't follow him. He could hear voices from across the hall, but he knew that Shuichi would probably kill him if he came in. He sat down in his industrial size spinney chair and grabbed the phone nearest to 

him. He dialed the familiar number and held his breath. It was 8 a.m. This probably wouldn't go well.

"What?" came a groggy voice on the other line. "It's eight in the morning, Tatsuha. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING ME?!"

"Why do you think? Just had a lovely chat with the artist formerly known as my best friend." Replied Tatsuha coolly.

"And why would that have any relevance?" drawled Yuki from the other line. "I'm hanging up now."

Yuki sighed and leaned back on his pillows. He knew why Tatsuha was calling, but he hadn't expected the call to come from his brother. He had expected a happy, yet slightly concerned Shuichi to come through his phone line. Internally, hidden in his slightly stunted heart, was regret. He had hoped to hear the singer's voice.

He knew what had happened had gone wrong, and he had known it last night. But he couldn't stay there. He didn't want that life again. He had hurt Shuichi too much then, and obviously too much this time as well. He would always love him, even though he would never admit it, but he could never be with him again. It wasn't meant to be.

As he put his head back down on his downy pillows, a thought struck him.

"…_the artist formerly known as my best friend."_

For the last eight months, Tatsuha and Shuichi had been inseparable. Everyone knew that. Tatsuha was always hanging out with him, and Shuichi appeared to completely rely on him. At least that was the impression that Yuki had gotten at the party. Shuichi had seemed devastated after Tatsuha's little prank.

He wondered to himself about what could've caused this. Shuichi had calmed down quite a bit after…at that thought a smile graced Yuki's face and caused him to pause. Something must have happened after he left to make them fight. Shuichi had seemed passive towards Tatsuha the night before.

And then it hit him; Tatsuha knew. His groggy mind hadn't been able to wrap itself around that possibility. And if he didn't fix this little issue, Tatsuha would tell Mika. And then the world would end. But that still didn't 

answer the question of why Shuichi and the idiot known as his family were fighting. With a reluctant sigh, he picked up the phone and dialed Tatsuha's number.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. You've reached Uesugi Tatsuha and SAKUMA RYUICHI AND KUMA-CHAN!! Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP._

"It's me Tatsuha. Call me-" He was cut off by someone picking up the phone mid sentence.

"Hello? Hello!" came a slightly frantic voice over the line. "Don't worry, I got it! Shindou Shuichi here."

"Shit…give the phone to Tatsuha…" said Yuki. He would've recognized that voice anywhere and immediately had a feeling of impending doom.

Instead his request was met only by silence. And then the telltale click of a phone being hung up. Yuki could swear that he had heard either a bloodthirsty snarl or a strangled sob before the phone line had gone dead. He disconnected and dialed Tatsuha's cell phone instead. Tatsuha answered his phone on the third ring.

"Aniki."

"What the hell happened?" answered Yuki with a noticeable edge to his voice.

"I should be asking you that." Replied Tatsuha coolly. He had never tried so hard to keep his temper down. With his free hand he wiped a tear away from his eye.

"Tatsuha. Don't push me."

"Well apparently you don't have a problem pushing people around do you!" yelled Tatsuha, feeling himself come unglued.

"And what is that supposed to mean? I asked you a damn question! Answer me!" shouted Yuki back. He was completely frustrated with his brother. He wanted answers.

"I'M NOT HIM! YOU CAN'T JUST EXPECT ME TO BOW DOWN AND OBEY YOU!" screamed Tatsuha at the phone.

"You don't know what you're saying. Stop." Replied Yuki, the anger obvious in his shaking voice and white handed grip on the phone.

"NO! I WON'T STOP! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU CAN'T PUSH _ME_ AROUND!"

"What are you implying, you worthless little-"

"STOP! BOTH OF YOU! GOD DAMMIT! You ridiculous morons…" came a voice across the phone, fading into a disgusted mutter. "You're both acting like stupid three year olds…"

"Shu…you don't…you cursed…" came Tatsuha's shocked voice, sounding distant due to the fact that Shuichi had stolen his cell phone.

"I am NOT talking to you, you miserable excuse for my best friend. And YOU." Shuichi snarled into the phone. "Eat dirt and die."

"Shit…" said Tatsuha into his re-claimed phone. "That's the second time he's yelled at me today…"

"Are you going to tell me what happened now?" asked Yuki. He was in shock. Shuichi had never, _never _talked to him like that.

"You know what happened, you seduced him and then forced hi-"

"I did NOT force him."

"Oh yeah right…" said Tatsuha with disgust.

"Tatsuha. You still haven't told me what happened." Replied Yuki, clearly wanting to move on. He hated phone calls.

"We…we…had a fight." Said Tatsuha reluctantly.

"A fight. Now we're getting somewhere." Said Yuki as he began to pace around his bedroom. "Go on."

"I…I…said some things that I shouldn't have. I blamed him for everything…I've never seen him so angry…" said Tatsuha slowly. He wasn't proud of what had happened.

"Tatsuha. Stop stalling and tell me what the hell happened."

"Why do you even care?" asked Tatsuha snidely.

"Because…because…it was my fault anyway." Answered Yuki quickly.

"Now what?" asked Tatsuha exasperatedly. He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't even want to bother with why his brother was really getting involved. "Wait…you just admitted it to being your fault. Aniki, I'm so proud of you!"

"Shut up."

"Well, now what?" asked Tatsuha again, his voice distinctly lighter.

"You play nice and make up." Answered Yuki sarcastically. He knew that that would never work.

"This is serious Eiri." Said Tatsuha, switching back into serious mode. He couldn't take much more of Shuichi being mad at him.

"What, you think I don't know that?"

"You'd better get up here and straighten things out. Now." Said Tatsuha with his eyes close and fingers crossed. Eiri was going to kill him after that.

"Oh, so now you're telling me what to do? Hypocrite."

"I'm asking you now…please."

"No. You handle it on your own. I'm not going to be ordered around by you."

"Eiri, PLEASE. When have I ever asked you for anything?" replied Tatsuha. His answer was followed by an angry muttering from Yuki. He cut him off. "…without blackmailing you?"

"Tat-." Yuki paused. He couldn't believe it. For once, his brother was right. He had never asked him for something like this. And deep down he wanted to go back. Part of him needed to set things straight.

"Fine."

"Come tonight, alright? Maybe he won't try to kill one of us if we give him some time…" said Tatsuha. He could hear his brother sighing on the other line.

"I said fine, Tatsuha."

* * *

Thanks for all the continued support, you guys are the greatest. BIG update coming soon! Soon as in tonight, probably…9/16/2008


	5. Redemption

His apartment always seemed so much smaller when he was pacing. Twenty-six steps to the left, kitchen counter. Thirty-eight straight ahead and the sudden, shooting pain in his leg told him that a wall lived there. Opening his eyes drearily and looking in front of him, he noticed that it was a door, not a wall that had so cruelly assaulted him and interrupted his comatose drifting.

He didn't want to open the door, and he really didn't want to think about why. He shook his head brutally and turned around. As he closed his eyes again, he noticed the analog clock in the corner of the living room. 10:28.

Two hours ago he had hung up on one of the worst conversations he had ever been forced to take part in. And, in five and a half hours, he would be staring down the reason for everything. 10:29.

He sighed audibly and opened his eyes again. He was greeted only by blank walls, drab furniture, and bleak colors. There was no life left here, and he hated every second of being there. He moved to sit on the couch but hesitated, and abruptly turned away. It wasn't really his couch. His cruelty had given it away four years ago. Instead he collapsed against the wall, beside the front door. He closed his eyes and tried to block out his mind. It could only focus on one thing…his face.

* * *

Shuichi slammed the door as hard as he could behind him. He had never felt this angry in his entire life. He was mad at himself, mad at Tatsuha, disgusted about everything, and for the first time, he was angry with Yuki. And then the wave of anger crashed against the sadness welled up inside of him.

"Yuki…" he cried softly into the darkness of the empty room. Then the tears came. He could feel them gushing out of his eyes, the warm trails they left on his cheeks. But he didn't understand why.

He had tried to convince himself that he was mad at Yuki. But through everything, he never had been. Not when Yuki hit him, kicked him out, cheated on him. Not when Yuki dumped him without any apparent remorse, not when Yuki came back and had nothing to say. And now it would seem, not even when Yuki came back to him for one night and then left forever...again.

Now he could feel the anger, tangled up inside of him, struggling to get out. He wanted so badly just to scream, and be done with it. He 

wanted to hit something, someone, anything, just to make them feel the same as he did. He wanted to rage to everyone that had caused this. Instead, he fell on the floor in a shaking heap, the tears still running down his face.

"Shuichi?" called a light voice from outside the door. "Shu?"

"Leave me alone…" choked Shuichi, trying to stifle the noise of his grief. "Go away…Hiro."

"No. Let me in. I want to talk to you." Said Hiro gently, not wanting to upset Shuichi.

"Please Hiro…just go away…" Shuichi echoed from his floor.

"I'm not leaving you, Shu. I'm not him."

"Leave, Hiro." Answered Shuichi, the color starting to return to his face. "I'm serious."

"No, you're not." Replied Hiro as he pushed the door open. Shuichi was slumped against the side of the bed and looking at the floor, his eyes completely out of focus. "Shuichi?"

"I'm not kidding. Leave." Answered Shuichi, raising his eyes to Hiro's. "Get out."

"Just hear me out, Shu. I want to talk to you…"

"I don't want to hear it." Replied Shuichi, pulling himself up onto the bed.

"I think you do." responded Hiro, moving to stand in front of Shuichi. "Please, just listen to me for once."

Shuichi didn't respond and slowly lifted his head to look at Hiro's face. He hadn't felt so torn in all of his life. He wanted to hurt something, but then he wanted to cry his eyes out. Except he had yelled at his last listener. He was completely alone, all over again. This thought brought even more tears to his eyes.

Hiro couldn't read his friend's mind, but he could see the anguish in his once-magnificent eyes. Shuichi looked like he was dying on the inside, all over again. Hiro almost couldn't take it, but he knew that he had to play his cards better than Tatsuha had if he wanted to last out the day.

"Shuichi…"

"I can't do this, Hiro…" whispered Shuichi through his tears. "I can't…"

Hiro had no words for the situation. He had entered the room with a carefully planned soliloquy for his friend. He'd mapped out his words, selected a specific tone, and prepared for several responses. But Shuichi's body language and the look pervading his eyes changed everything. Hiro couldn't say anything; he was entirely speechless. In place of speaking he sat down on the bed next to Shuichi and pulled him into his arms. Within five seconds, Shuichi had completely collapsed onto his shoulder and was crying uncontrollably.

* * *

Tatsuha paced around his office, completely oblivious to the actions of the rest of the household. Part of him felt guilty, having had ignored his lover the entire morning. He had been too consumed in the drama that constituted his best friend's life for almost a year now, and even though Ryuichi said that he was all right with it, the situation had to take a toll on him. Tatsuha sighed, and leaned back in his chair. The upcoming evening was only going to make matters worse, for him.

Shuichi would eventually get over his anger, given a lot of time on his own. But for Tatsuha to invite the cause of Shuichi's pain into the house a second time would surely finish off the friendship. He sighed again, and started to pace. He couldn't sit still for longer than a few minutes, and the pacing seemed to help. A knock interrupted his reverie, however, and part of him welcomed the break into his personal reflections.

"Tat?" came a small voice from the doorway. "You in here?"

"Yeah, I'm here…" Tatsuha answered quietly, afraid to disturb the silence coming from the rest of the house.



Ryuichi opened the door all the way and came into Tatsuha's bright office. Kumagoro was curiously absent.

"How's Shuichi?" Ryuichi asked, slipping into his serious side that few ever saw. "I heard him last night with Yuki-san and this morning…he's hard not to hear…"

"Hopefully he'll come around…Hiro's in there now." Tatsuha answered, trying to get away from the subject of Shuichi. "Listen, I'm sorry-"

"You don't have to apologize. He needs you more than I do, I suppose…" said Ryuichi with a small smile. "It's OK, really…"

"No, no it's not. I shouldn't have spent my night worrying about him…I…I…" stuttered Tatsuha, feeling the stress of the events in his life.

Ryuichi didn't respond and instead got off of the chair he was sitting on and sat in Tatsuha's lap. Grabbing his lover's face with his hands, he kissed him, pulled away, and looked him in the eyes. Tatsuha avoided his glance, still feeling guilty, and Ryuichi kissed him again, harder this time, trying to convince him that everything was all right.

"Ryu…"

"See? I told you…" answered Ryuichi, pressing his forehead against Tatsuha's, and putting his hands on Tatsuha's shoulders. "I love you."

"I love you too." Tatsuha answered, pulling Ryuichi into his arms and smiling for the first time that morning.

* * *

"Shuichi?" Hiro asked softly. He hadn't heard any noise out of Shuichi for a few minutes, and the silence startled him a bit. "Shu?"

"Hmm?" Shuichi mused against Hiro's shoulder, completely taken in by the comfort of having Hiro back.

"Just checking on you."

"Alright…" Shuichi replied, snuggling back into Hiro's shoulder without really realizing where he was. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Shu-chan…" Hiro answered, gathering his small friends legs across his lap and putting his head against Shuichi's. "Anytime."

"Umm…Hiro?" Shuichi posed with a tinge of worry to his voice. He had just realized that he was in his friend's lap, and that said friend wasn't too concerned about it.

"Yeah?"

"Ummm…"

"Right. I hear you." Hiro answered, casually dumping Shuichi on the bed and standing up, next to the door. "I'll just be going then…"

"No! That's not what I meant!" Shuichi exclaimed from the bed, not wanting to offend Hiro, but also hearing the insincerity and sarcasm in his friend's voice.

"No, no…you made yourself quite clear…you don't want me here, I get it…" said Hiro, with a smile highlighting his finer features.

"Hiro!" Shuichi whined from the bed, forgetting his misery in the playful moment. He jumped up from his recumbent position and with a few steps help he was standing in front of Hiro.

"Yes?" Hiro asked, suddenly looking serious. Shuichi faltered for a moment under his gaze, and then Hiro took a step towards him.

"Your hair's messed up…" Shuichi said quietly, pretending to be transfixed by his guitarist's shaggy mane of auburn hair. "It's like…all spikey, and-"

Hiro grabbed Shuichi's waist and pulled him into the kiss. He closed his eyes and leaned in, running his hands over as much of his friend as he dared. Shuichi resisted for a few seconds, and then put his hands flat against Hiro's chest. He leaned in, too, and put his arms around Hiro's 

neck. The kiss broke and the two stared at each other for a while. Hiro went to kiss him again, but the look on Shuichi's face stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Hiro…" Shuichi uttered into the still silence of the room. His eyes felt too big for his head, and he could see his hands shaking in front of him. "I…you…you…we shouldn't have done that."

"Why not? Shuichi, listen,"

"No…you listen. We can't…I don't…I still love him."

"Don't say that…" Hiro said, moving towards Shuichi's retreating form. "Don't let him win…"

Shuichi couldn't pull an answer from his muddled brain. His heart was still in the palm of Yuki's hand, whether or not Yuki would ever realize it or care. He sighed, and leaned against the wall, next to the window. Hiro stood framed in the doorway, having taken a few steps back. Shuichi stared at the carpet for a few seconds, trying to collect himself enough to speak again. He felt himself failing, and looked to Hiro for some encouragement. What he found instead startled him beyond belief, and he pulled himself away from the wall.

It seemed to Shuichi, as he entwined hisarms around Hiro's waist, that he had finally found some of the peace that he had been looking for the last year of his life. He kissed Hiro, and felt some of the pain that had constantly plagued his bruised heart lift, and ease away. Snuggled against Hiro's chest, he felt his first real smile in a long time grace his face.

* * *

Suguru wiped his sweaty brow with his sleeve and sighed. He glanced around him, and noticed that the house was still deserted. He quickly threw a glance in the direction of the ceiling, half expecting someone to leap out of it and scream, "Boo!". Fortunately for him, no one did. He was standing in the kitchen, having spent the last hour or so scouring it to within an inch of its life. Hiro had disappeared earlier, making it impossible to work on any musical arrangements, and he knew better than to ask Shuichi to work after all the yelling from earlier that morning.

He walked over to the counter and picked up his cup of coffee, and sighed again. These parties were never fun for him. He could barely stand 

working with these people, let alone spending his free time with them. And for a whole week. Ordinarily he would have refused to come and spent the time off in his apartment, doing important things like working and studying for his classes. But no, K had had the brilliant idea to make this party mandatory on the excuse that the Bad Luck team needed some "manly bonding time". Suguru sighed for the third time and walked out of the kitchen.

"This place is so boring…" he muttered to himself, lifting his coffee to his lips.

"Then why don't you just leave?" asked a voice dripping with irritability. "If it's so boring, pack up and get the hell out."

"Good morning, Mika-san." Suguru answered, turning to face the pregnant devil woman that had just entered the living room. "I hope your day is progressing well…"

"Hmph." Came the response from Mika. She hated coming to the parties too, but had preferred to be dragged along then stay in an empty house. "It's not morning anymore, dumbass."

"Actually, it's…" Suguru started, but quick look at his watch reading 12:02 p.m. stopped him. "Very good, Mika-san."

"What, you think I'm stupid or something?"

"No! Not at all!" Suguru answered promptly, trying very hard not to upset his cousin-in-law. He didn't need Tohma breathing down his neck for upsetting her.

"Are you yelling at me, you little shrimp?" Mika questioned in a sinister voice, advancing on Suguru with a glint in her eye. "I'll impale you with a fire poker."

"Alright, that's enough. I've had it with you and your threats! Why the hell do you think you can just come in here and boss everyone around?! This isn't your house!" Suguru yelled, losing him composure. He hadn't been having a good time to begin with, and the crazy woman standing in front of him was not having a positive effect on the situation.

"Excuse me?" Mika returned quietly, her voice saturated with danger. No one talked to her like that, especially not her little wimp of cousin. Her eyes had narrowed to slits, and she looked menacing despite the change wrought on her fine form due to her pregnancy.

"I'm…I…I'm not sorry. No! I didn't do anything wrong, I just said 'good morning' for god's sake!" Suguru said, accidentally spilling his coffee on the floor in his agitation.

"Brilliant move. Just brilliant. Ryuichi sees this and he'll have a heart attack. You'll be lucky to get away with just a beaming."

"It was an accident, he'll be understanding, unlike someone in the room." Suguru spat back icily. She was grating down on his last nerve.

"What, you looking in a mirror or something? Because you had better not be directing any more slurs my way, boy." Mika answered, looking angrier, if possible, by the second.

"THAT'S IT! You judgemental witch! Being knocked up does not give you the right to treat everyone else like shit!" Suguru screeched, his usual, cool poise flying out the window faster than a robin on fire.

Mika didn't shoot back a quick response or make a move for the fire poker, which threw Suguru off guard. He had expected some sort of explosion, or nuclear occurrence, and Mika was disappointing him. Instead of throwing a tantrum, or a sharp-edged object, she shakily sat down on the loveseat to her right and looked out the back door with a glazed expression on her face.

"Mika-san?" Suguru asked timidly, afraid of her earlier threat of impalement by fire poker.

Again, Mika uttered no response, no threat, no scream. Nothing. In exchange for her normal scathing comments, she put her face in her hands and started crying uncontrollably. Suguru was, needless to say, flabbergasted.

"I'm so sorry!" Mika exclaimed, completely taken in by the hormones ravaging her system. "I didn't mean to!"

"Umm…" Suguru uttered, unsure what to say next. He had never dealt with a situation quite like this one.

"Never mind. You obviously don't care, just get the hell away from me!" Mika shouted, clearly back to usual, though her eyes were still red and puffy.

"That's it, that's it!" Suguru screamed, making a beeline for the stairs. "I can't take it anymore!"

"Hmph, well that solves that problem…" Mika said quietly to herself. The household could barely handle one Tohma, let alone his little clone. This was supposed to be a fun week, right? She smiled a maniacal smile into the living room, and laughed a little laugh. Manipulation was evidently a strongpoint in her genetic pool.

* * *

"What was that?" Ryuichi whispered with a scared look on his face. "Tat-chan?"

"I've no idea…" Tatsuha answered, wishing that his house wasn't echoing with yells for the second time that morning.

"Kuma and I will find out…" Ryuichi answered, again in a whisper. He pulled the bunny out of a random pocket that had kept him well concealed and slunk out of the room.

"Wow…" Tatsuha mused to himself, completely blown away by his lover's personality. Ryuichi had clearly morphed back into his childish side, and that meant only endless possibilities of fun for the rest of the day. "I'm so lucky…"

He got out of his chair and moved to follow Ryuichi down the hallway. Nothing surprised him anymore, especially since he had clearly heard Mika's voice in the fray. After witnessing the antics of his brother and sister over the last few days, he was thoroughly convinced that his family was incorrigibly insane.

Most people would tell you that you need at least a small dosage of normalcy in their lives to function properly. Apparently it provided a balance against all of the mess that you had to face otherwise. Ambling down the hallway, Tatsuha caught sight of Mika and Ryuichi talking. A smile flitted across his face, and he thought to himself, screw the normalcy. Forget the balance. He had everything that he could ever need in his life. He smiled again, and put his arms around Ryuichi; this was his everything.

"What the hell are you doing? Snap out of it, sappy." Mika quipped at Tatsuha. The sight of happy people turned her stomach.

"Hmm?" Tatsuha replied, putting his head on Ryuichi's shoulder, trying really hard to make his sister angry.

"Stop acting like an idiot. Where's Tohma at?" Mika returned, trying to distance herself from the happy couple. "I haven't seen him all morning."

"Nope. I want to know about the screaming." Tatsuha answered, removing himself from Ryuichi. "Then we can talk about Tohma."

"What screaming?" Mika asked, with an evil attempt at an innocent smile. "I really don't know what you could be talking about."

"Don't give me that bullshit. What happened, or would you have to kill me if you spilled the beans?"

"Don't be stupid. Suguru and I had a…small disagreement." Mika replied, turning up her nails for inspection. "I believe he went downstairs."

At that moment, some loud cursing and banging noises interrupted Tatsuha's response. A few more crashes were heard, and then followed by the appearance of Suguru's head coming up the stairs, followed by his luggage.

"I can't stay here! She's insane!" Suguru shrieked, his eyes looking disconnected.

"Umm…" Tatsuha posed, trying to calm Suguru down. "Listen, man, she'll calm down…"

"NO! I'm not staying here any longer! You people are all insane! Good god, do you see yourselves!?" Suguru screamed, flailing his arms and frothing at the mouth.

"KUMAGORO BEAM!" Ryuichi screamed, throwing Kuma as hard as he could at Suguru's head. The bunny hit him square in the face with a 'thump' and Suguru went down like a sack of flour. "There. All settled."

Mika and Tatsuha gaped at Ryuichi as he calmly walked over to Kuma, picked up the bunny, and moseyed down the hall, Kumagoro in hand.

"I suppose you get used to it after awhile, right?" Mika posed to Tatsuha, continuing to watch Ryuichi amble down the hallway.

"Yeah, it's part of the job." Tatsuha replied, stooping over to glance at Suguru's body, laying limp at the bottom of the stairs. "These days, I don't even notice him sometimes."

"Must be difficult with two of them around…"

"No, Shuichi's not like that anymore…" Tatsuha answered quietly. "He's…he's…"

"Broken." Mika replied, her face deadly serious.

"Yeah, broken." Tatsuha said on a sigh, thinking back to how Shuichi used to be.

"That's it! I'm outta here! I'm going to go batty!" Suguru exclaimed, stomping up the stairs for a second time. He grabbed his suitcase and quickly moved towards the door.

"Any last words?" Mika asked with a smirk on her face. "And I'm pretty sure that you already popped at least one screw loose…"

"Sorry about her, man…" Tatsuha muttered towards Suguru in a very low voice. "See you."

"Yeah, bye." Suguru returned in an equally low voice. He shot one last glare at Mika and left.

"See what you did? Can't you control yourself?" Tatsuha said to Mika, not feeling completely serious.

"No. I can't." Mika answered smugly, glad to be rid of even one person.

"I highly doubt that."

"Don't be jealous just because you missed out on the evil gene." Mika shot back, starting to look at her nails instead of at her brother.

"Yeah, too bad I'm not crazy like you." Tatsuha teased back, enjoying the rare opportunity to mess with Mika without warranting any physical beatings.

"Just face it, Tatsuha. You can't handle being the nice, sane one."

"I'm not sure Eiri would appreciate being lumped in with you."

"Eiri doesn't 'appreciate' anything these days…" Mika replied, putting air quotes around the word appreciate. "But enough of this witty banter, little brother. I have things to do."

With that said Mika walked down the hall and disappeared from sight.

"Yeah, things. Like torturing small children and infecting the elderly with flu." Tatsuha muttered to himself.

Tatsuha sighed and returned to his office to resume his pacing. His sister wasn't completely evil, just a little bit crazy. But then again, who in his family wasn't? Even his friends were all a little…eccentric. And then there was Ryuichi. Tatsuha sighed again and stepped into his office.

He eyed his chair, but decided to pace again. He felt so stupid; he had actually made Eiri agree to come back. He was hoping against hope that Hiro was calming Shuichi down, or all hell was going to break loose. He turned and looked out of the window, waiting for an answer to fly in.

* * *

Sorry to make you wait so long for an update. I got distracted with 'Aladdin', 'BatB II', and other important things like college...yep, all growed up now. Stay in touch, I'll be bringing this one to a close hopefully before the year's out.

-Amaya


End file.
